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(The previous post.) (EDIT) Yeah... this is as far as I got before I just completely bailed. (/EDIT) (EDIT 2) Over two years after this here post, I finally got around to watching the rest of it. (/EDIT 2)
Captain N notes
1x04 "Videolympics"
- Just based on the episode title, I'm assuming this one is "sports" based. Uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh.
- First scene with Mother Brain ranting about stuff on the Metroid world... and it's playing Super Mario Bros. 1 castle music, for whatever reason. O...kay. o_O Though it's weirdly so faint that you can barely hear it.
- Mother Brain apparently has a "magic mirror" that talks to her, like she's the Evil Queen from Snow White. And... now it's playing a version of the Super Mario Bros. 1 underground music. O_o
- So this one's going to be centered on Kid Icarus. I'm looking forward to lots of "-icus" and "maximus" in this one. ¬_¬
- Cut to the Palace of Power, they're playing a "life-sized simulator" version of the first level of Donkey Kong, except with Kevin as Mario and Lana as Pauline. Donkey Kong is still Donkey Kong, though. The whole thing is really odd.
- Why do they keep taking Mother Brain's calls? Huh, was call blocking even a thing yet back in 1990? Well, even if not, Videoland still has more advanced technology than the real world. I'm sure they could've worked something out.
- Oh, right, not just "-icus" and such, but "-icus" in a squeaky New York accent. Anyway, I'd have thought Kid Icarus would've been freaking out more over the fact that Mother Brain sent her henchmen to his world, but I guess not. He seems fired up.
- Lana: "What if it's a trick?" Captain N: "Well, if it is, what better way to find out than to go along with it?" Uh, how about, maybe, not going along with it, and doing anything else?
- They're literally training for this crap. Rather than, like, actually trying to suss out what Mother Brain's obvious trick is.
- Even Simon's own sapient whip thinks he's an asshole and isn't taking his shit.
- Why does Mega Man, a robot, need to do physical strength training? (Spoiler alert: he doesn't.)
- Kevin: "I know you wanna help, Duke, but dogs aren't allowed to compete." *turns to Lana* "Are they?" Lana: *shrug* They don't have a clue what they're doing.
- Simon Belmont used to be an adventurer, but then he took an arrow in the ass. Mockery aside, though, Simon was a lot more chill (for Simon, anyway) about having an arrow lodged an inch or two in his asscheek than I'd have given him credit for, so good on him I guess? Though he manages to self-own the whole team in the end. Or maybe that one was on Kid Icarus? *shrug*
- Meanwhile, Mother Brain's bunch are training on the Punch Out!! world.
- Even Dracula is there. (And, once again, he's wearing mostly yellow.)
- Seriously, what is with that random, weird, sharp inhale that Dr. Wily does when he talks? It has to be a reference that I'm just not getting. Anyway, King Hippo is apparently strong enough to lift the entire building, so that's a thing.
- So why isn't Little Mac on the N Team, given that King Hippo is one of the main villains? Apparently, as far as I can tell, he got the Samus treatment and only shows up in the comics.
- And I don't blame her one bit.
- And now, a literal training montage.
- Again, why is Mega Man, the robot, having to do training? And, more importantly, why is Mega Man, the robot, getting winded by doing training?
- Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, that is absolutely the appropriate reaction to drinking raw eggs. Even Lana can't get behind that one.
- Mega Man proving once again that he's stronger than the rest of them combined, yet he's still training. MST3K Mantra.
- Aw.
- Oh no, we've already seen how astonishingly shit Kevin was at Punch Out!!, so this, realistically, shouldn't go well for him at all. But then, they're not boxing, they're wrestling. And... it's Kevin and Kid Icarus... and not Mega Man, you know, the really strong guy. Oh, okay, they got picked randomly, fair enough.
- They replaced King Hippo with Donkey Kong. I mean, sure, cheating and all that, but... if they're gonna cheat anyway, why not replace Eggplant Wizard instead of King Hippo, i.e. the guy who was able to lift up that entire gym? Sure, that ain't Donkey Kong strength, but it's still better than Eggplant Wizard.
- God, Simon is such an unrepentant asshole.
- I don't think shooting an arrow with a hand on it should count as a legal tag, but that's just me. Unsurprisingly, Donkey Kong wins anyway. Kevin and Kid Icarus climb up out of a Donkey-Kong's-giant-ass-shaped hole in the ring.
- Any upcoming cheating aside, this should be an utter blowout for Mega Man.
- But then, Mega Man is straight up fucking disintegrated. That wasn't even necessarily cheating on Dr. Wily's part, either, since Mega Man had already used his buster just a bit before that.
- Death is just a minor inconvenience in Videoland, though, as we've already seen in previous episodes. Also, Lana accuses Mother Brain's team of cheating, which is definitely true, but how was Mega Man using his buster to blow up course hazards not also cheating? *shrug*
- Yeah, I'm kind of ignoring the whole "find the treasures" plot, because it's not that interesting. What's more interesting is that the N Team is still completely oblivious to it, at least so far.
- I was going to say that they managed to get Lana into an even skimpier outfit for the diving competition, but then that one-piece bathing suit actually covers more skin than the cut-off t-shirt and Daisy Dukes outfit she was wearing before. Go figure. Also, none of the training the N Team was shown doing before involved high-diving, so I don't blame Lana for being nervous about it.
- Lana: "Blubber before beauty." Okay, that one was pretty good. And King Hippo just took it, without comment.
- Despite the judges obviously being bought to give King Hippo a high score for his shitty dive, Lana still manages to get perfect 10s with her dive.
- Simon vs Dracula in a ski jump. Another event that the N Team wasn't shown training for. Anyway, that was just the start of another montage. The music should've been a tip off.
- Score is tied, final event is a... 10km rocket chariot race. O... kay...
- Anyway, Captain N, the Game Master, still can't figure out what it is Mother Brain is up to. "I'm certain I've played something like this before, but I can't remember what!" I don't know, Kevin. This is just a guess, but... maybe it was goddamn Kid Icarus? Why don't you ask your buddy, Kid Icarus, the guy whose world it is and who should know it at least as well as you, if not better? But forget about that, Kevin. Lana's more interested in winning than figuring out Mother Brain's plan before it's too late.
- Speaking of Kid Icarus, funnily enough, he's the first to be eliminated. The N Team is being eliminated via blatant cheating (I mean, the commentator is explicitly describing it as it happens) from Mother Brain's goons. Mother Brain's goons are being eliminated due to abject stupidity and incompetence on their part.
- And then Kevin himself blatantly cheats by using the Power Pad to make himself go faster. Does it even really matter at this point? Despite that, King Hippo somehow (perhaps due to an editing mistake in his favor) manages to catch him and destroy his chariot. But then Kevin pulls a Marty McFly and turns what's left of it into a skateboard.
- The N Team wins, because King Hippo abandoned the race to go find the third treasure.
- Oh shit, it's a two-parter. The N Team is dumped into "the Warp Zone to Oblivion." But I guess the most important thing is that the N Team won without cheating (except for all the cheating they did)? Roll credits.
- Anyway, this episode kind of sucked, since I just don't give shit one about sports, be it in real life or in video game form.
Huh... I guess I'll just make this a double post and watch the next episode as well, since they're a two-parter. (Apparently the only one in the series, oddly enough.)
1x05 "Mega Trouble for Megaland"
- This one, clearly, is going to be a Mega Man episode. That said, I wonder if Mega Man will feature in this one as little as Kid Icarus featured in the last one, given that KI didn't really get any more screen time than any other character, despite it taking place in his world. We'll see, I guess.
- A flashback to that weird "Metroid mirror." That was necessary.
- So, anyway, in "Oblivion" or wherever, Kevin comes up with a brilliant plan. Use some fishing line Simon happened to be carrying, for whatever reason, to tie everyone to each other, then jump into random warp zones to try to find the way out. Nothing can go wrong with this plan, not even Simon being a typically unrepentant asshole.
- The things in "Oblivion" look like something straight out of Mother/EarthBound. (I was hoping that thing was going to bite through Simon's fishing line and leave him stranded in whatever world he ended up in, but no such luck.)
- Oh, great, more *ugh*shiver* sports. Lana's still in her skimpy outfit from the previous episode, of course. Well, somewhat skimpier than normal, anyway.
- Kid Icarus lucks into finding the way back to where they were at the end of the last episode, that being MountOlympusIcarus. They don't even bother to show whatever worlds Kevin, Duke, and Mega Man went to.
- A full week has passed on Mount Icarus (and, presumably, the rest of Videoland) during the two or three minutes they were in "Oblivion."
- If anyone should know, it would be Kid Icarus.
- Kevin turns Simon's vanity (and utter idiocy) against him.
- Hey, it's Dr. Light! I mean, Dr. Wright!
- "Don't worry, Dr. Wright, the Mega Man game is my specialty! I'll zap Dr. Wily into Warp Factor 10!" Meh, the dialogue in this show is so cheesy sometimes. (Also, the back of Kevin's head seems unusually large in that shot, for some reason.)
- Garbage Man is, as expected, complete garbage. And the N Team just peaces out while he trashes Dr. Wright's lab.
- Kevin being all sexist and shit, then Lana wastes some of his Power Pad/Zapper juice to prove him wrong.
- Captain N, the "Game Master," totally eats shit. Why the fuck did Kevin getting hit cause Mega Man to lose health, though?
- I still find it funny/weird how pretty much all of the sound effects in this show come from Super Mario Bros., despite nothing else Mario-related ever showing up, aside from the mentions of "warp zones" and such.
- The entire team (minus Simon and Kid Icarus, who aren't there) eats shit. Again, though, death is cheap in Videoland.
- Oh, and in addition to the sound effects, a lot of the music has been, oddly, from Mario games in these past two episodes, too. This time, it's the Super Mario Bros. 2 cave music. Anyway, now we cut to Kid Icarus and Simon.
- Simon turns the tables on King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard by using a shitty disguise to fool them, similarly to how KH and EW did the same to Simon in 1x03. No, really, Simon was actually super competent in this scene, for once, and even managed to be an asshole to Kid Icarus without it immediately blowing up in his face.
- Back to Megaland... they're using actual Mega Man music this time. It's even level appropriate, given that it's Cut Man's stage theme. I just have to comment on the really shitty sound mixing on these things, though, because even with headphones, I can barely hear the music at all compared to the dialogue and sound effects. (Seriously, for one thing, they've been randomly playing the Mario power up sound throughout these past two episodes, including this scene, and it's really distracting at times.)
- Okay, that was a pretty cool shot of Kevin with the machine behind him.
- "Well, I wouldn't call hugging a princess a waste of time." He's such a dork.
- There's the music! Montage time! Or... just all the bosses ganging up on them at once (and getting immediately owned). Seriously, they just took out Ice Man, Fire Man, Elec Man, Bomb Man, and Guts Man in about 30 seconds. What the fuck makes Cut Man (or Cuts Man as they're calling him in this) so special? Compared to the other five bosses, Cut Man was fucking godlike in this, even if they did take him out almost as easily in the end.
- Uh, you already killed the other five robots. (No, really, I'm not an expert on Mega Man by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm pretty sure there weren't five "fake" robot masters in Cut Man's stage.)
- Anyway, back to Simon and KI. Oh, come on, we all know how this is going to play out. They're about the fight Medusa. Simon has a mirror because he's a vain-ass motherfucker. This is not neuroscience. I don't remember this episode at all, so let's see if I'm right. I won't even cheat and look ahead.
- There is some Kid Icarus music, the title theme in this case.
- Okay, I was wrong. Simon was far too stupid to handle this. It ended up being Kid Icarus using the Mirror Shield to beat Medusa.
- God damn, to hell with Dr. Wily and his fucked up breathing.
- Seriously, this shouldn't be a big deal, given what already came before in this episode.
- Lana ends up saving the day because Kid Icarus is a terrible shot.
- It's guess it's funny that they're all still wearing those lame sports outfits from the previous episode. Anyway, Kevin uses ZA WARUDO to beat Dr. Wily.
- So that is what Mother Brain was doing this whole time. Serves her right for leaving everything to her useless minions. Honestly, I'm kind of shocked that she ever let those three treasures out of her sight at all.
- And that was the end of, apparently, the only two-part episodes in Captain N: The Game Master. It was/they were... okay, I guess. I much preferred the second episode to the first one, but that's not saying much.
Captain N notes
1x04 "Videolympics"
- Just based on the episode title, I'm assuming this one is "sports" based. Uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhh.
- First scene with Mother Brain ranting about stuff on the Metroid world... and it's playing Super Mario Bros. 1 castle music, for whatever reason. O...kay. o_O Though it's weirdly so faint that you can barely hear it.
- Mother Brain apparently has a "magic mirror" that talks to her, like she's the Evil Queen from Snow White. And... now it's playing a version of the Super Mario Bros. 1 underground music. O_o
- So this one's going to be centered on Kid Icarus. I'm looking forward to lots of "-icus" and "maximus" in this one. ¬_¬
- Cut to the Palace of Power, they're playing a "life-sized simulator" version of the first level of Donkey Kong, except with Kevin as Mario and Lana as Pauline. Donkey Kong is still Donkey Kong, though. The whole thing is really odd.
- Why do they keep taking Mother Brain's calls? Huh, was call blocking even a thing yet back in 1990? Well, even if not, Videoland still has more advanced technology than the real world. I'm sure they could've worked something out.
- Oh, right, not just "-icus" and such, but "-icus" in a squeaky New York accent. Anyway, I'd have thought Kid Icarus would've been freaking out more over the fact that Mother Brain sent her henchmen to his world, but I guess not. He seems fired up.
- Lana: "What if it's a trick?" Captain N: "Well, if it is, what better way to find out than to go along with it?" Uh, how about, maybe, not going along with it, and doing anything else?
- They're literally training for this crap. Rather than, like, actually trying to suss out what Mother Brain's obvious trick is.
- Even Simon's own sapient whip thinks he's an asshole and isn't taking his shit.
- Why does Mega Man, a robot, need to do physical strength training? (Spoiler alert: he doesn't.)
- Kevin: "I know you wanna help, Duke, but dogs aren't allowed to compete." *turns to Lana* "Are they?" Lana: *shrug* They don't have a clue what they're doing.
- Simon Belmont used to be an adventurer, but then he took an arrow in the ass. Mockery aside, though, Simon was a lot more chill (for Simon, anyway) about having an arrow lodged an inch or two in his asscheek than I'd have given him credit for, so good on him I guess? Though he manages to self-own the whole team in the end. Or maybe that one was on Kid Icarus? *shrug*
- Meanwhile, Mother Brain's bunch are training on the Punch Out!! world.
- Even Dracula is there. (And, once again, he's wearing mostly yellow.)
- Seriously, what is with that random, weird, sharp inhale that Dr. Wily does when he talks? It has to be a reference that I'm just not getting. Anyway, King Hippo is apparently strong enough to lift the entire building, so that's a thing.
- So why isn't Little Mac on the N Team, given that King Hippo is one of the main villains? Apparently, as far as I can tell, he got the Samus treatment and only shows up in the comics.
- And I don't blame her one bit.
- And now, a literal training montage.
- Again, why is Mega Man, the robot, having to do training? And, more importantly, why is Mega Man, the robot, getting winded by doing training?
- Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, that is absolutely the appropriate reaction to drinking raw eggs. Even Lana can't get behind that one.
- Mega Man proving once again that he's stronger than the rest of them combined, yet he's still training. MST3K Mantra.
- Aw.
- Oh no, we've already seen how astonishingly shit Kevin was at Punch Out!!, so this, realistically, shouldn't go well for him at all. But then, they're not boxing, they're wrestling. And... it's Kevin and Kid Icarus... and not Mega Man, you know, the really strong guy. Oh, okay, they got picked randomly, fair enough.
- They replaced King Hippo with Donkey Kong. I mean, sure, cheating and all that, but... if they're gonna cheat anyway, why not replace Eggplant Wizard instead of King Hippo, i.e. the guy who was able to lift up that entire gym? Sure, that ain't Donkey Kong strength, but it's still better than Eggplant Wizard.
- God, Simon is such an unrepentant asshole.
- I don't think shooting an arrow with a hand on it should count as a legal tag, but that's just me. Unsurprisingly, Donkey Kong wins anyway. Kevin and Kid Icarus climb up out of a Donkey-Kong's-giant-ass-shaped hole in the ring.
- Any upcoming cheating aside, this should be an utter blowout for Mega Man.
- But then, Mega Man is straight up fucking disintegrated. That wasn't even necessarily cheating on Dr. Wily's part, either, since Mega Man had already used his buster just a bit before that.
- Death is just a minor inconvenience in Videoland, though, as we've already seen in previous episodes. Also, Lana accuses Mother Brain's team of cheating, which is definitely true, but how was Mega Man using his buster to blow up course hazards not also cheating? *shrug*
- Yeah, I'm kind of ignoring the whole "find the treasures" plot, because it's not that interesting. What's more interesting is that the N Team is still completely oblivious to it, at least so far.
- I was going to say that they managed to get Lana into an even skimpier outfit for the diving competition, but then that one-piece bathing suit actually covers more skin than the cut-off t-shirt and Daisy Dukes outfit she was wearing before. Go figure. Also, none of the training the N Team was shown doing before involved high-diving, so I don't blame Lana for being nervous about it.
- Lana: "Blubber before beauty." Okay, that one was pretty good. And King Hippo just took it, without comment.
- Despite the judges obviously being bought to give King Hippo a high score for his shitty dive, Lana still manages to get perfect 10s with her dive.
- Simon vs Dracula in a ski jump. Another event that the N Team wasn't shown training for. Anyway, that was just the start of another montage. The music should've been a tip off.
- Score is tied, final event is a... 10km rocket chariot race. O... kay...
- Anyway, Captain N, the Game Master, still can't figure out what it is Mother Brain is up to. "I'm certain I've played something like this before, but I can't remember what!" I don't know, Kevin. This is just a guess, but... maybe it was goddamn Kid Icarus? Why don't you ask your buddy, Kid Icarus, the guy whose world it is and who should know it at least as well as you, if not better? But forget about that, Kevin. Lana's more interested in winning than figuring out Mother Brain's plan before it's too late.
- Speaking of Kid Icarus, funnily enough, he's the first to be eliminated. The N Team is being eliminated via blatant cheating (I mean, the commentator is explicitly describing it as it happens) from Mother Brain's goons. Mother Brain's goons are being eliminated due to abject stupidity and incompetence on their part.
- And then Kevin himself blatantly cheats by using the Power Pad to make himself go faster. Does it even really matter at this point? Despite that, King Hippo somehow (perhaps due to an editing mistake in his favor) manages to catch him and destroy his chariot. But then Kevin pulls a Marty McFly and turns what's left of it into a skateboard.
- The N Team wins, because King Hippo abandoned the race to go find the third treasure.
- Oh shit, it's a two-parter. The N Team is dumped into "the Warp Zone to Oblivion." But I guess the most important thing is that the N Team won without cheating (except for all the cheating they did)? Roll credits.
- Anyway, this episode kind of sucked, since I just don't give shit one about sports, be it in real life or in video game form.
Huh... I guess I'll just make this a double post and watch the next episode as well, since they're a two-parter. (Apparently the only one in the series, oddly enough.)
1x05 "Mega Trouble for Megaland"
- This one, clearly, is going to be a Mega Man episode. That said, I wonder if Mega Man will feature in this one as little as Kid Icarus featured in the last one, given that KI didn't really get any more screen time than any other character, despite it taking place in his world. We'll see, I guess.
- A flashback to that weird "Metroid mirror." That was necessary.
- So, anyway, in "Oblivion" or wherever, Kevin comes up with a brilliant plan. Use some fishing line Simon happened to be carrying, for whatever reason, to tie everyone to each other, then jump into random warp zones to try to find the way out. Nothing can go wrong with this plan, not even Simon being a typically unrepentant asshole.
- The things in "Oblivion" look like something straight out of Mother/EarthBound. (I was hoping that thing was going to bite through Simon's fishing line and leave him stranded in whatever world he ended up in, but no such luck.)
- Oh, great, more *ugh*shiver* sports. Lana's still in her skimpy outfit from the previous episode, of course. Well, somewhat skimpier than normal, anyway.
- Kid Icarus lucks into finding the way back to where they were at the end of the last episode, that being Mount
- A full week has passed on Mount Icarus (and, presumably, the rest of Videoland) during the two or three minutes they were in "Oblivion."
- If anyone should know, it would be Kid Icarus.
- Kevin turns Simon's vanity (and utter idiocy) against him.
- Hey, it's Dr. Light! I mean, Dr. Wright!
- "Don't worry, Dr. Wright, the Mega Man game is my specialty! I'll zap Dr. Wily into Warp Factor 10!" Meh, the dialogue in this show is so cheesy sometimes. (Also, the back of Kevin's head seems unusually large in that shot, for some reason.)
- Garbage Man is, as expected, complete garbage. And the N Team just peaces out while he trashes Dr. Wright's lab.
- Kevin being all sexist and shit, then Lana wastes some of his Power Pad/Zapper juice to prove him wrong.
- Captain N, the "Game Master," totally eats shit. Why the fuck did Kevin getting hit cause Mega Man to lose health, though?
- I still find it funny/weird how pretty much all of the sound effects in this show come from Super Mario Bros., despite nothing else Mario-related ever showing up, aside from the mentions of "warp zones" and such.
- The entire team (minus Simon and Kid Icarus, who aren't there) eats shit. Again, though, death is cheap in Videoland.
- Oh, and in addition to the sound effects, a lot of the music has been, oddly, from Mario games in these past two episodes, too. This time, it's the Super Mario Bros. 2 cave music. Anyway, now we cut to Kid Icarus and Simon.
- Simon turns the tables on King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard by using a shitty disguise to fool them, similarly to how KH and EW did the same to Simon in 1x03. No, really, Simon was actually super competent in this scene, for once, and even managed to be an asshole to Kid Icarus without it immediately blowing up in his face.
- Back to Megaland... they're using actual Mega Man music this time. It's even level appropriate, given that it's Cut Man's stage theme. I just have to comment on the really shitty sound mixing on these things, though, because even with headphones, I can barely hear the music at all compared to the dialogue and sound effects. (Seriously, for one thing, they've been randomly playing the Mario power up sound throughout these past two episodes, including this scene, and it's really distracting at times.)
- Okay, that was a pretty cool shot of Kevin with the machine behind him.
- "Well, I wouldn't call hugging a princess a waste of time." He's such a dork.
- There's the music! Montage time! Or... just all the bosses ganging up on them at once (and getting immediately owned). Seriously, they just took out Ice Man, Fire Man, Elec Man, Bomb Man, and Guts Man in about 30 seconds. What the fuck makes Cut Man (or Cuts Man as they're calling him in this) so special? Compared to the other five bosses, Cut Man was fucking godlike in this, even if they did take him out almost as easily in the end.
- Uh, you already killed the other five robots. (No, really, I'm not an expert on Mega Man by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm pretty sure there weren't five "fake" robot masters in Cut Man's stage.)
- Anyway, back to Simon and KI. Oh, come on, we all know how this is going to play out. They're about the fight Medusa. Simon has a mirror because he's a vain-ass motherfucker. This is not neuroscience. I don't remember this episode at all, so let's see if I'm right. I won't even cheat and look ahead.
- There is some Kid Icarus music, the title theme in this case.
- Okay, I was wrong. Simon was far too stupid to handle this. It ended up being Kid Icarus using the Mirror Shield to beat Medusa.
- God damn, to hell with Dr. Wily and his fucked up breathing.
- Seriously, this shouldn't be a big deal, given what already came before in this episode.
- Lana ends up saving the day because Kid Icarus is a terrible shot.
- It's guess it's funny that they're all still wearing those lame sports outfits from the previous episode. Anyway, Kevin uses ZA WARUDO to beat Dr. Wily.
- So that is what Mother Brain was doing this whole time. Serves her right for leaving everything to her useless minions. Honestly, I'm kind of shocked that she ever let those three treasures out of her sight at all.
- And that was the end of, apparently, the only two-part episodes in Captain N: The Game Master. It was/they were... okay, I guess. I much preferred the second episode to the first one, but that's not saying much.
