Castle Magus

"Hi. Donald Trump's relentless executive orders and illegal slashing of federal funding are already hurting Americans, including his own voters."

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No Warmbo, no finger puppets, no "evil Katy jumping in via a video call" or whatever, no corn slop dripping from the ceiling, no time travel, no multiple versions of Cody, none of that shit in this video. Just Cody Johnston sitting in front of a camera for an hour and twenty minutes (minus however much time the ad breaks wasted, since I skipped past those, as I always do). The only "bit" in this video was Cody refraining from saying any swear words at all, until the final minute or two of the video.

I wish all SMN videos were like this. (Aside from, perhaps, the no swearing thing, because as he proved by almost breaking that no-swear rule at several points during the video, a lot of the goddamned fucking dumbshit that Trump and Elon and their criminal co-conspirators are currently doing can only be adequately described with the involvement of intense profanity.)

(EDIT) Oh, right, I didn't note it at the time as I was watching the video, but JD Vance was apparently a person who benefited from DEI. How about that. (And, no, that wasn't a JD Vance/Peter Thiel joke.) (/EDIT)

(EDIT 2) Just a reminder that, seriously, Trump has not been in office for even a full fucking month yet. (/EDIT 2)

...I wish you literally had that gun jammed entirely inside your asshole.

Sincerely,

Me

Unless things miraculously swerve somehow between now and when the fuck ever I happen to lurch out of bed tomorrowlater today, it looks like the United States has probably collectively brainsharted, yet again, and elected a brainshart-in-human-shape, yet the fuck again.
Fuck Donald Trump.

I will not stop saying that just because he has, somehow, almost assuredly become the goddamned President of the fucking United States of shitsucking America yet again, no more than I stopped saying it after the last time this living nightmare came to pass. The "bitter, unvarnished rage" I felt back then pales to that which I feel now, because we should have known better this time. (Too few, apparently, of us did and do know better, for what fucking good that has done.) He belongs in a prison cell or a fucking grave, not in the goddamned White House again. So yeah, fuck Donald Trump to hell forever.

Also, keep in mind, if Trump does somehow fail to make it through the next four years, JD Vance becomes President.

Oh, and the GQP have apparently also taken the entire Congress, both House and Senate, now. That, combined with the SCOTUS already having been stacked by Trump with dumbfucking assholes, along with the fact that Trump will likely get to appoint even more dumbfucking assholes to it, well, just goes to show that this country is utterly fucked up broken now, possibly irreparably.

As for the rest of the world... let's see... well, Ukraine is proper fucked now. I'm sure Putin is tickled pink, now that his puppet is back in power again. And anyone who has a problem with the way Israel is doing business in that part of the world is in for an even bigger world of hurt now than they already were. No telling what other fresh hell will come about as a result of Trump being POTUS again, either here or abroad. The dumbass is nothing if not unpredictable.

I guess the very thinnest silver lining to this is that this is the last time Trump can ever be President. You know, unless he wrecks the government so horribly to the point that the GQP becomes able to install him as dictator for the (hopefully very short) rest of his life. It's not like he hasn't floated the idea of being more than a two-term POTUS before, after all. You know, assuming he doesn't end up killing us all in a nuclear hellfire. That's still a very much not insignificant possibility, too, after all. "Destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion," and all that shit, perhaps literally.

So yeah. Pleasant dreams, everyone, for the next four years of utter hell on Earth. Oh, and 2024-2028-plus are going to be far worse than even 2016-2020 were, of that I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever. After all, there were at least a few guardrails in place back then to prevent Trump from just doing whatever the fuck he wanted. Not so much the case, this time. Trump and his army of lickspittles made sure of that.

(Speaking very selfishly here, I guess I can say, for once, that I'm glad I'm a cishet white male, because things are probably going to be very, very shitty for anyone who is not that for the next four years. But, then again, I also am neither obscenely rich nor a [hypocritical or otherwise] Christian, so... *shrug*

Well, no matter. Things are going to be shitty for everyone, even those who stupidly think that SCROTUS IMPOTUS Trump II was a wonderful idea. I just hope they live to regret it.)

"Hi. Today we're looking at vice presidential candidate JD Vance's weird Nazi lie about migrants from Haiti eating pets in Springfield, Ohio, something that didn't happen and that he knows didn't happen."

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Pre-watch: How in the blue hell did they manage to get an entire hour and half worth of video out of the utterly asinine topic of Haitians allegedly eating pets, when all they needed to say is that Trump/Vance are being weird, being racist, being hateful, and, most of all, being liars?

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During watch: Seriously, keep in mind that this (i.e. JD Vance) is the man who would become POTUS should Donald Trump first, heavens forbid, become POTUS again and then second, heavens endorse, die or something. Brrr... *ugh*shiver* It would be a lateral move, at best. Vance couldn't be worse than Trump, but he almost assuredly wouldn't be better than Trump, either. Just equally terrible, but in a host of horrifying new ways. In any case, it's just one more reason in a list of by now at least a trillion reasons why Trump should never again be allowed within a million miles of the White House.

I like that they keep showing that clip from the Harris/Trump debate with Trump, stony-faced, saying the moronic lie, and Harris on the other side just laughing and gesturing in a "can you believe this lying moron?" kind of way.

"Crypto-Nazi account 'End Wokeness'" *weary goddamned sigh + facepalm leaving a slap mark on my forehead + rolling my eyes out of their sockets + shaking my head back and forth to the point of being able to fly if I only had rotors attached*

Oh, it's connected to Project 2025, too? *weary goddamned sigh + facepalm leaving a slap mark on my forehead + rolling my eyes out of their sockets + shaking my head back and forth to the point of being able to fly if I only had rotors attached*

There is, apparently, a Neo-Nazi group with the name of "Blood Tribe" that exists within the United States of America. And here I thought things couldn't possibly get even more fucked up than they already are. Nah, I'm just joshing, things can and will absolutely get way more fucked up (definitely if Trump wins, and probably even if, heavens support, Trump loses). Oh, and this "Blood Tribe" is apparently behind the racist rumors about Haitians eating pets. Wow. Imagine that. But the mere fact that an American Neo-Nazi group called "Blood Tribe" even exists at all in the year 2024 CE is mind-boggling enough. Well, maybe not so much, if one simply looks back at the past decade or so, I suppose. (By the way, this is what the founder of "Blood Tribe" looks like, apparently. Could not possibly be more stereotypical.)

So, for reference going into the latter two-thirds or so of the above embedded Some More News video, here is another Some More News video.

Cody repeating Donald Trump's own "criminal genetics" phrase with a big picture of an angry-looking Donald Trump onscreen is just... *chef's kiss.*

"Because, surely, JD knows what he's doing. He's stupid if he doesn't." Cody, Cody, Cody... stupidity and malice are not mutually exclusive.

"But it's weird for a vice president to say." Cody, JD Vance is not vice president yet, and, heavens condone, he never will be.

"Anyway, speaking of stupid Nazis." Followed by... Holy shit sudden Fucker Carlson jump scare. Welp, gotta add him to the tags now, too, I guess. *weary sigh* For reference. (Also for reference.)

*insert that Toy Story meme, with the "X" being the word "Lies," in this case*

Really appreciate that Cody keeps reminding us that JD Vance once called Donald Trump "America's Hitler" (among many other truly terrible and terribly true things he said about the former SCROTUS IMPOTUS, prior to him becoming a Trump tiny mushroom licker himself).

In conclusion, "What a piece of shit that guy is. You suck, JD. You're America's Hitler's pet. Congratulations. Go to hell, poop in your own mouth, and swallow. Oh, this just in. There's more. When you're done swallowing that poop that you pooped, poop that out and swallow that. Dipshit."

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Post-watch: Yeah, okay, I see how they managed to stretch "'Haitians eat pets' is a stupid lie told by stupid liars" into a full hour and a half video. Because it's not just about that, but also about all the stupid lies and bullshit that fed into that and led up to that. Makes sense now. Still, in the end, it really was just an hour and a half of Cody finding many different ways to say that Trump/Vance are being weird, being racist, being hateful, and, most of all, being liars.

Also, my middle fingers are pretty tired now, especially thanks to that Fucker Carlson jump scare. Instantaneous hoisting of both middle fingers has pretty much become a reflex action now, whenever that asshat appears on my screen.

Anyway, this was yet another Some More News video with no Warmbo, no finger puppets, no evil Katy, and no other pointless, distracting bullshit like that. They're on a roll right now. Heavens approve. Still a bunch of embedded-in-the-video-itself ads through which I skipped forward, as always, but meh, that'll never not be a thing anymore, apparently.

"Hi. Let's take a look back at the 2024 Democratic National Convention – what the speakers said, the media reaction, the right-wing grifters who tried to infiltrate it, and what we would have really liked to see."

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(Just to get it out of the way, while I'm mostly fine with the [morbid, gallows] humor and all that, I really wish that Some More News would do away with the full on fucking skits. Like, getting rid of anything at all to do with fucking Warmbo would be great, along with all the "evil Katy" stuff. Anyway, this episode doesn't truly start until around 3:30 into the video. Basically, in the video timeline, you can very safely skip the entire section labeled as "Intro," and another five to ten minutes could easily be trimmed out, too, thanks to all the other asinine Warmbo-related and "evil Katy"-related skit shit. [That one little red finger puppet dude with the top hat who had appeared in previous videos and later on in this one is okay, though, I guess. Except that, spoiler alert, Cody apparently killed and ate him in this video. Oh well.])

Annnnnnyway...

Lesson one: Just "vibes" don't make Cody happy. Fair enough.

Lesson two: Take fact checkers with a grain of salt. Who fact checks the fact checkers, after all? Themselves? Not so much.

Lesson three: Yeah, the first third of this video was criticizing the DNC (and, briefly, fact checkers). But the second third of this video was criticizing the rancid, delusional RWNJ response to the DNC. Oh boy! Right wing grifters are stupid assholes! And other tautologies/redundancies! To hell with Charlie Kirk. To hell with... uh... that MyPillow guy, whoever the fuck he is? ("Mike Lindell" apparently? That name seems vaguely familiar, probably from previous SMN videos.) To hell with "Libs of Tiktok." To hell with Matt Walsh. To hell with Jack Posobiec. To hell with Laura Loomer. To hell with Catturd. (Wait, what? Seriously? There is a RWNJ "personality" who goes by the name "Catturd"? What the actual, literal, unvarnished fuck.) To hell with JD Vance. (Remember that douchenozzle?) To hell with Ben Shapiro. To hell with Dinesh D'Souza. To hell with Ann Coulter. Seriously, just an entire smorgasbord of RWNJ dumbshits showcased in this video. To hell with the entire lot of them.

Lesson four: Third third of the video: More bashing on the Democrats, because there are other, real, valid reasons that the DNC still sucks, actually. Not that Trump/Trumpublicans wouldn't still be far, far worse, even on the same issues, of course, as the video fully grants. But even so. "Democrats: At Least We Won't Make Things Worse." US politics, as a whole, is fucking ridiculous, stanky clownshoes.

Well, good on Biden, I suppose. Taking the high road and all that, after making (relatively) innocuous comments. He's certainly not wrong about the fucking inane state of American political rhetoric these daysyears.

It's just that Biden, mostly trudging along the high road, runs the very real risk of being overtaken and beaten to the White White by Trump, who is just flat out sprintinggolf-carting along every low road shortcut he can find (while breaking as many traffic laws along the way as he can get away with [which is practically all of them, since Trump seems to have the courts firmly on his side], to extend the metaphor even more).

A little fun fact: the email that I used to send the link for this article to myself from my phone's Google News App so that I could more easily access it here on my PC was titled "What the actual fuck."

Even the incredibly rare few things that Trump himself managed to do that were, despite himself, actually good things are being struck down by the brazenly corrupt Supreme Court.

*weary fucking goddamned sigh*

"The ban was challenged by a Texas gun store owner..."

Of course this diarrhetic shit spewed forth from Texas: the bloated, tumorous asshole of the United States of America.

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Also, this: "Clarence Thomas Rejects Bump Stock Ban After Praising Skill Involved In Mass Shooting"

This article from AboveTheLaw.com is kind of a gem.

"I did not have 'you've really got to appreciate the skill involved in mass murder' on my Supreme Court Bingo card."

...

"It's cliche at this point to say The Onion is real life, but this as close to 'Supreme Court Rule Death Penalty Is "Totally Badass"' as it gets."

...

"In any event, the Court's interpretation of this statute is pedantic nonsense. It's like walking into a sci-fi convention and saying 'well ACTUALLY the Enterprise does not travel faster than light because it's standing still while warping space around it.' Alas, Clarence Thomas will not receive the wedgie that this reasoning deserves."

..

"For his part, Sam Alito went out of his way to write a concurrence noting that the whole legislative history and intent and the common sense understanding of the terms of the statute would cover bump stocks, but also 'fuck you.'"

(Also, really, just look at the tremendous, masterful "skill" on display here[1]. That guy was sooooooo "skillful" that he didn't even realize just how "skillful" he was being there, considering he explicitly said "that shot much faster than I anticipated.")

Man... if only Clarence Thomas had just accepted John Oliver's offer and spared us all from such asinine dumbfuckery.

[1] - And, of course, all the ludicrous ammosexuals in the comments under that video are jizzing themselves to be the first to say "bruh you called a magazine a clip which totally discredits anything and everything you say about guns ever."

Simple link to article, because I don't feel like providing any additional commentary at the moment (aside, maybe, from the tags I include).