Today is my birthday.

[kane_magus]

Francis Buxton: Today is my birthday. My father said I can have anything I want.

Pee-Wee Herman: Good for you and your father.

FB: Guess what I want?

PW: A new brain?

FB: No. Your bike.

PW: (Laughs uproariously)

FB: What's so funny, Pee-wee?

PW: It's not for sale, Francis.

FB: My father says, "Everything is negotiable," Pee-wee.

PW: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, billion, trillion dollars!

FB: You're crazy.
PW: I know you are, but what am I?

FB: You're a nerd.
PW: I know you are, but what am I?

FB: You're an idiot.
PW: I know you are, but what am I?

FB & PW: I know you are, but what am I?
FB & PW: I know you are, but what am I?
FB & PW: I know you are, but what am I?
FB & PW: I know you are, but what am I?
PW: Infinity!

FB: No. I'm not, you are.
PW: You are.

FB: No way!
PW: No way!

FB: Knock it off!
PW: Knock it off!

FB: Cut it out!
PW: Cut it out!

FB: Shut up, Pee-Wee!

PW: Why don't you make me.

FB: You make me!

PW: Because I don't make monkeys, I just train them.

FB: Pee-wee, listen to reason.

PW: (Cups hand to his ear)

FB: Pee-wee!

PW: Sh! I'm listening to reason.

FB: Pee-wee!

PW: That's my name, don't wear it out.

FB: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding past my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?

PW: I love that story. (Leaves)

FB: You'll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman!!!