![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(The previous post. The next post.)
Just going to go right into it.
Captain N notes
1x02 "How's Bayou"
- Ah yes, the Bayou Billy episode. Before I even start watching this, I should just note that The Adventures of Bayou Billy is a game that I've played for, maybe, 5-10 minutes in my entire life, if that long. The AVGN episode about it (bonus points for being one of the collabs with Pat the NES Punk) was probably longer than the time I've personally played it.
- Captain N's weakness? Well, we already know he's utter crap at Punch-Out!! for one thing.
- Uh, no, he was playing Punch-Out!! just before he was sucked into Videoland, not Bayou Billy. I mean, we saw that in just the previous episode. And also every single time the intro plays.
- Wow, that supposed "gameplay footage" they show of Kevin sucking at Bayou Billy is... not anything from the actual NES game, The Adventures of Bayou Billy. What the fuck. You'd think Nintendo (or Konami, at least) would want them to show the actual games. This looks more like a weird alternate universe version of Pitfall than Bayou Billy. It also looks like shit, even for what's supposed to be a Nintendo game.
- Hey look, it's Dr. Wily. Just another minion of Mother Brain, same as King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard. Speaking with a horrid German accent, no less.
- Meanwhile at the Palace of Power... Kevin is trying to teach Lana how to dance. Okay. Also, wasting the Power Pad's energy for the noble purpose of doing the moonwalk in the air to show off.
- Kevin wants to bring Lana back to the real world to make his friends jealous that he ostensibly got a girl like Lana.
- The defenses of the Palace of Power continue to be absymal, given that Mother Brain can just send a robo cat in to jump on Kevin's head out of nowhere. Imagine if said robo cat had been rigged to, I don't know, explode or something, instead of merely luring Captain N to Bayou Land. 80s cartoon villains (aside from Venger) just rolled like that. And then Kevin eats shit a second time when Duke knocks him over chasing the robo cat.
- Brinstar theme from Metroid playing as they chase the cat. Neat. Not really relevant, mind you, but still cool.
- "Where does this warp zone go to?" But Kevin, I thought you knew where all the warp zones were and where they went, even in games that don't have warp zones. Anyway, shockingly, it leads to Bayou Land.
- Uh, I wonder if Kevin calling his dog "Dookie" was intentional (because kids sure do love them some poop jokes and all that), or if they just didn't think it through.
- Ha ha the joke is that King Hippo is fat. Meh.
- Mega Man manages another complete sentence without using the word "mega." Huh, if he keeps this up, at this rate, it'll be more like noting the instances he does say it, rather than when he doesn't say it.
- Simon straight refuses to go with Lana to Bayou Land when she tells him to. She just silently walks away. Yeah, that's about all the response that asshole deserves, anyway.
- And then she just says "Come on, Simon," again, and he agrees to go with no more fuss, making that a rather pointless scene, except to show yet again what a fucking dick Simon is.
- Yeah, fuck you, Simon. Eat shit.
- Hmm, is the Simon's Quest title screen music the only Castlevania music they're allowed to use for Simon or something? And... it continues to play for a while longer, after the scene switches to Duke and to Kevin looking for Duke. Okay.
- Maybe I'm wrong, because I haven't actually played the game myself to any real extent, but I'm pretty sure the enemies in Bayou Billy were mostly just human dudes with weapons and random animals like crocodiles and such. Not giant tree monsters.
- Well, there's a crocodile, obviously voiced by the same actor that does King Hippo.
- "Oh great, the quicksand's drained my power!" Ah, the first of many instances of random bullshit robbing Captain N of his super powers.
- And there, nearly halfway into the episode, Bayou Billy himself finally appears. Funny how he looks more like the character in that fake mockup "gameplay footage" than the Billy in the actual game. (Not that any of the other characters are even remotely accurate to their games, either.) At least he's not doing a terrible Crocodile Dundee impression. Or even a terrible Cajun accent, for that matter. He just sounds like a generic dude. Maybe there's a bit of a vaguely "Southern"-ish accent, but that's about it. Also, his chin is massive and looks like a hairy butt.
- Bayou Billy is driving a ridiculous monster truck, also something that isn't in the game, I'm pretty sure. (He had more of a Jeep-looking thing [with guns on it] in the game itself.) These "video worlds" are the loosest interpretation of the games they're based on.
- "Never travel in the bayou without first getting some power items." Words to live by, Bayou Billy. Words to live by. Billy walks over to a random tree and pulls out a whip. Then Kevin has the whip. Then Billy has the whip again.
- And there's the "traveling through this episode's world" montage, complete with generic 80s rock. It seems to be a requirement that such a scene appears at least once per episode.
- Fairly sure there were no airboats in Bayou Billy either, though it probably would have been cooler if there had been.
- And then Bayou Billy leaves, roughly three minutes after he was introduced.
- Dr.FrankensteinWily makes some weird monster, which is "genetically programmed for only one purpose: to destroy Captain N." Well, shit, why didn't you just make that first, instead of the robo cat, and send that into the Palace of Power at the start, when Kevin was distracted by trying to mack on Lana?
- God, Simon is such an unrepentant asshole.
- God, Simon is such an utter idiot.
- The previous two points can probably be saved and used for all of the following episodes as well.
- Honestly, he can be passably competent when he needs to be, it's just that he's usually too stuck up his own ass to be so, most of the time.
- Ha ha the joke is that King Hippo is fat. Meh. Again.
- Weird how the quicksand drained the Power Pad, but getting dunked in water didn't.
- "Can't you ever think of anyone but yourself?" Lana, calling Simon out on his bullshit once again. And yet, he's the one she chose to bring along, instead of (or, you know, in addition to) Mega Man or Kid Icarus, so it's her own fault.
- Two episodes in a row that Eggplant Wizard has successfully gotten the drop on our hero, Captain N.
- Bayou Billy is back to save the day, in his fucked up monster truck. And he seems pretty chill about that monster ripping it open and dunking it in the swamp.
- Kevin faces off against Wily's monster in a featureless tan void. How odd. The monster splashes Kevin and suddenly his zapper doesn't work. Captain N's powers and their weaknesses are so inconsistent, and it's only the second episode.
- "Forget the Zapper! Get the Crash Star!" Is this "crash star" an actual thing in the Bayou Billy game? Hell if I know, but I'd bet it isn't. And even if it is, it's most assuredly nothing like what is depicted here. (EDIT) Well... according to the manual, at least, there is a "star" item, which "wipes out all of the enemies on the screen in one crushing blow." Maybe he meant "Crush Star"? (/EDIT) Kevin throws the "crash star" and it flies around like Xena's chakram and kills everything, including Wily's monster, forcing King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard to flee.
- The crash star follows them all the way back to Metroid and... huh... blinks out Mother Brain and her flunkies, just like that. And, even though she just got killed (or, at least, the closest thing to being killed that Captain N probably ever gets), she's still able to talk, basically making threats of what she's going to do to KH and EW when she "redigitalizes." So, apparently, even if the N Team manages to kill Mother Brain, she'll just come back again.
- "Later that evening, in the Bayou..." we cut to Simon Belmont doing what he does best: incessantly whining. Also, when did Lana promise Simon a candlelight dinner? I must have missed that.
- Ha ha the joke is that Duke almost got devoured by crocodile babies. Roll credits.
- Mega Man is still batting 1.000 on not saying "mega." But then, considering that the above mentioned line was his only line of the entire episode (and, in fact, his only appearance in the episode at all), he didn't have any other opportunities to fuck up his streak. Kid Icarus similarly didn't say "-icus" at all in this episode, by virtue of him being entirely silent, aside from the beating of his wings.
- Eh... it wasn't too bad of an episode, I guess, despite me riffing the shit out of it. That's sort of my thing, even if I actually do like the thing I'm riffing. Meh. (If I didn't like it, at least a little bit, I'd just stop watching it entirely.) Kind of weird that Bayou Billy himself was only in the Bayou Billy episode for less than half of it, though.
(Man, these posts are going to go to [even more] shit if those Youtube videos ever get taken down.)
Just going to go right into it.
Captain N notes
1x02 "How's Bayou"
- Ah yes, the Bayou Billy episode. Before I even start watching this, I should just note that The Adventures of Bayou Billy is a game that I've played for, maybe, 5-10 minutes in my entire life, if that long. The AVGN episode about it (bonus points for being one of the collabs with Pat the NES Punk) was probably longer than the time I've personally played it.
- Captain N's weakness? Well, we already know he's utter crap at Punch-Out!! for one thing.
- Uh, no, he was playing Punch-Out!! just before he was sucked into Videoland, not Bayou Billy. I mean, we saw that in just the previous episode. And also every single time the intro plays.
- Wow, that supposed "gameplay footage" they show of Kevin sucking at Bayou Billy is... not anything from the actual NES game, The Adventures of Bayou Billy. What the fuck. You'd think Nintendo (or Konami, at least) would want them to show the actual games. This looks more like a weird alternate universe version of Pitfall than Bayou Billy. It also looks like shit, even for what's supposed to be a Nintendo game.
- Hey look, it's Dr. Wily. Just another minion of Mother Brain, same as King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard. Speaking with a horrid German accent, no less.
- Meanwhile at the Palace of Power... Kevin is trying to teach Lana how to dance. Okay. Also, wasting the Power Pad's energy for the noble purpose of doing the moonwalk in the air to show off.
- Kevin wants to bring Lana back to the real world to make his friends jealous that he ostensibly got a girl like Lana.
- The defenses of the Palace of Power continue to be absymal, given that Mother Brain can just send a robo cat in to jump on Kevin's head out of nowhere. Imagine if said robo cat had been rigged to, I don't know, explode or something, instead of merely luring Captain N to Bayou Land. 80s cartoon villains (aside from Venger) just rolled like that. And then Kevin eats shit a second time when Duke knocks him over chasing the robo cat.
- Brinstar theme from Metroid playing as they chase the cat. Neat. Not really relevant, mind you, but still cool.
- "Where does this warp zone go to?" But Kevin, I thought you knew where all the warp zones were and where they went, even in games that don't have warp zones. Anyway, shockingly, it leads to Bayou Land.
- Uh, I wonder if Kevin calling his dog "Dookie" was intentional (because kids sure do love them some poop jokes and all that), or if they just didn't think it through.
- Ha ha the joke is that King Hippo is fat. Meh.
- Mega Man manages another complete sentence without using the word "mega." Huh, if he keeps this up, at this rate, it'll be more like noting the instances he does say it, rather than when he doesn't say it.
- Simon straight refuses to go with Lana to Bayou Land when she tells him to. She just silently walks away. Yeah, that's about all the response that asshole deserves, anyway.
- And then she just says "Come on, Simon," again, and he agrees to go with no more fuss, making that a rather pointless scene, except to show yet again what a fucking dick Simon is.
- Yeah, fuck you, Simon. Eat shit.
- Hmm, is the Simon's Quest title screen music the only Castlevania music they're allowed to use for Simon or something? And... it continues to play for a while longer, after the scene switches to Duke and to Kevin looking for Duke. Okay.
- Maybe I'm wrong, because I haven't actually played the game myself to any real extent, but I'm pretty sure the enemies in Bayou Billy were mostly just human dudes with weapons and random animals like crocodiles and such. Not giant tree monsters.
- Well, there's a crocodile, obviously voiced by the same actor that does King Hippo.
- "Oh great, the quicksand's drained my power!" Ah, the first of many instances of random bullshit robbing Captain N of his super powers.
- And there, nearly halfway into the episode, Bayou Billy himself finally appears. Funny how he looks more like the character in that fake mockup "gameplay footage" than the Billy in the actual game. (Not that any of the other characters are even remotely accurate to their games, either.) At least he's not doing a terrible Crocodile Dundee impression. Or even a terrible Cajun accent, for that matter. He just sounds like a generic dude. Maybe there's a bit of a vaguely "Southern"-ish accent, but that's about it. Also, his chin is massive and looks like a hairy butt.
- Bayou Billy is driving a ridiculous monster truck, also something that isn't in the game, I'm pretty sure. (He had more of a Jeep-looking thing [with guns on it] in the game itself.) These "video worlds" are the loosest interpretation of the games they're based on.
- "Never travel in the bayou without first getting some power items." Words to live by, Bayou Billy. Words to live by. Billy walks over to a random tree and pulls out a whip. Then Kevin has the whip. Then Billy has the whip again.
- And there's the "traveling through this episode's world" montage, complete with generic 80s rock. It seems to be a requirement that such a scene appears at least once per episode.
- Fairly sure there were no airboats in Bayou Billy either, though it probably would have been cooler if there had been.
- And then Bayou Billy leaves, roughly three minutes after he was introduced.
- Dr.
- God, Simon is such an unrepentant asshole.
- God, Simon is such an utter idiot.
- The previous two points can probably be saved and used for all of the following episodes as well.
- Honestly, he can be passably competent when he needs to be, it's just that he's usually too stuck up his own ass to be so, most of the time.
- Ha ha the joke is that King Hippo is fat. Meh. Again.
- Weird how the quicksand drained the Power Pad, but getting dunked in water didn't.
- "Can't you ever think of anyone but yourself?" Lana, calling Simon out on his bullshit once again. And yet, he's the one she chose to bring along, instead of (or, you know, in addition to) Mega Man or Kid Icarus, so it's her own fault.
- Two episodes in a row that Eggplant Wizard has successfully gotten the drop on our hero, Captain N.
- Bayou Billy is back to save the day, in his fucked up monster truck. And he seems pretty chill about that monster ripping it open and dunking it in the swamp.
- Kevin faces off against Wily's monster in a featureless tan void. How odd. The monster splashes Kevin and suddenly his zapper doesn't work. Captain N's powers and their weaknesses are so inconsistent, and it's only the second episode.
- "Forget the Zapper! Get the Crash Star!" Is this "crash star" an actual thing in the Bayou Billy game? Hell if I know, but I'd bet it isn't. And even if it is, it's most assuredly nothing like what is depicted here. (EDIT) Well... according to the manual, at least, there is a "star" item, which "wipes out all of the enemies on the screen in one crushing blow." Maybe he meant "Crush Star"? (/EDIT) Kevin throws the "crash star" and it flies around like Xena's chakram and kills everything, including Wily's monster, forcing King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard to flee.
- The crash star follows them all the way back to Metroid and... huh... blinks out Mother Brain and her flunkies, just like that. And, even though she just got killed (or, at least, the closest thing to being killed that Captain N probably ever gets), she's still able to talk, basically making threats of what she's going to do to KH and EW when she "redigitalizes." So, apparently, even if the N Team manages to kill Mother Brain, she'll just come back again.
- "Later that evening, in the Bayou..." we cut to Simon Belmont doing what he does best: incessantly whining. Also, when did Lana promise Simon a candlelight dinner? I must have missed that.
- Ha ha the joke is that Duke almost got devoured by crocodile babies. Roll credits.
- Mega Man is still batting 1.000 on not saying "mega." But then, considering that the above mentioned line was his only line of the entire episode (and, in fact, his only appearance in the episode at all), he didn't have any other opportunities to fuck up his streak. Kid Icarus similarly didn't say "-icus" at all in this episode, by virtue of him being entirely silent, aside from the beating of his wings.
- Eh... it wasn't too bad of an episode, I guess, despite me riffing the shit out of it. That's sort of my thing, even if I actually do like the thing I'm riffing. Meh. (If I didn't like it, at least a little bit, I'd just stop watching it entirely.) Kind of weird that Bayou Billy himself was only in the Bayou Billy episode for less than half of it, though.
(Man, these posts are going to go to [even more] shit if those Youtube videos ever get taken down.)
