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"House votes to release the Epstein files"
"Senate sends bill to release Epstein files to Trump"
NB4 Trump says "Sorry, I'd love to release all of the Epstein files, I really, truly would, but... I just can't release anything. See, it would affect our 'investigation' into all the evil Democrats. And the bill says I can opt not to release anything if it might affect an 'investigation,' which is why I ordered my Department of Vengeance to start that horseshit 'investigation' a few days ago, in the first place. My hands are tied, folks. Just can't do it." (Though he'd use way more word salad than that.)
"Senate sends bill to release Epstein files to Trump"
NB4 Trump says "Sorry, I'd love to release all of the Epstein files, I really, truly would, but... I just can't release anything. See, it would affect our 'investigation' into all the evil Democrats. And the bill says I can opt not to release anything if it might affect an 'investigation,' which is why I ordered my Department of Vengeance to start that horseshit 'investigation' a few days ago, in the first place. My hands are tied, folks. Just can't do it." (Though he'd use way more word salad than that.)
